Let’s review: L,D,R,S,H,I,P …. those are the Army values … Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage.
Now … when you take someone’s towel (and not just any towel, but one given to me by my momma that is big and cozy and that I really liked) out of the dryer, it’s called STEALING! You just violated at least three of those Army values.
I’m not going to wish death upon you like I did the last person who stole something from me, but I hope you get severe sunburn while you’re here in Arizona and your skin cracks and falls off and it’s the most painful thing in the world and that you fail all of your tests and get recycled a billion times and never get to leave Sierra Vista. And I sure as heck hope you’re not an officer because you couldn’t give me a million dollars to be in your unit you sorry freaking worthless waist of space and oxygen.
I went through basic training with 60 other Soldiers and never was any of my laundry stolen. I went through 2 years of OCS with 24 other Soldiers, and never was any of my laundry stolen. But I’m here for TWO DAYS at an OFFICER school and my laundry is stolen. And I KNOW the towel was in there because there was red lint in the lint catcher in the dryer you sorry SOB.
I WANT MY TOWEL BACK!!!!!
